Friends.
It has been a while. The world that was, just a few months ago only to be viewed longingly through the upstairs window like a housecat surveying the street below, or anxiously over the screens of our devices.
So I thought I’d do a quick update, and also, drop you a short story.
Firstly, my weekly show. I now have a brilliant comedy show, weekly at The Honor Oak Pub. You can find out more on www.laughtrainhome.com
It’s been an awful lot of fun, and we’re really starting to pull big hitters, both in acts and audience, so I’d love love love to see you there.
Secondly, I’ve not written so much for this blog again, but as once more the mounds of rejection slips pile high, here is some of the fiction I’ve been working on.
First up, a very very short little story about The Moon.
The Moon
“What in the Galaxy is that?”
“What do you mean?”
“That!”
“Oh, that’s just the moon.”
“The Moon. The Moon. I can see why you call it that – “
“Oh no, it’s just our name for it. We found out about it before we found out about any other moons.”
“Still, the name suits. It’s. Gosh, it’s epic! It’s so, so large and pitted…”
“It’s hardly that big, Ganymede is much more massive, and it supports life within this system alone!”
“Pfft who cares about Ganymede, it orbits a gas giant! This one orbits your little world, no offence.”
“None taken.”
“To see such a massive moon, surrounding such a small world. It boggles the mind. Tell me, is it true what they say? That its movements can tear the world apart, can raise mountains and seas?”
“Oh no – its so much more boring than that. It’s just the tides it controls.”
“Wow! The ocean. How deliciously violent.”
“If you say so – Now, if we could just draw your attention over here to these diplomatic gifts. We have analysed the preferences of your species before first contact, and it is our belief that these are the most suitable gifts we could furnish you wi-“
“Tell me one more thing, and, it’s a little personal so, well, I won’t mind if you won’t.”
“Is this about the moon again?”
Shuffling. Men are glancing at each other, impatient.
“Yes – ah – The Moon. How the sound of that makes my heart flutter. Not a moon, not a named body, but The Moon!”
“As I’ve said… oh, go on what is the question?”
“We are given to understand, that in your primordial days before colonising the stars, you were a sexually dimorphous species.”
“Yes. Still are, largely at least.”
“And, that one whole half of your species’ biological movements were in tune with the movements of this very body that circles the earth. That on some days you would,” it lowers its voice, “Even bleed.”
“Well, yes, in a way-“
“Ahh, and yet you brush this thing off. This grand appendage to your world, that moves the oceans! That controls your most intimate movements!”
“Just, allow me two minutes. You can watch the moon from your viewing platform if you would like.”
“Of course!”
The sound of a door closing and footsteps.
“Did they like the gifts?”
“They keep talking about –“
“The Moon! Again! What the hell is wrong with these species.”
“I know. Every one of them. All they want to talk about is the bloody moon. Is it really special? It’s just… just boring. I’ll never understand it. Never have.”
Sirens blare on the bridge. Hundreds of feet hammer against the metal floors, crewmen surging into action. Missiles are firing, briefly exploding in the emptiness of space lighting the Earth’s atmosphere like orange petals on its clouds.
“For God’s sake.”
“Are they?”
“Yes, take aim and fire. Another species trying to steal our moon again.”
Anyway, that was all very silly! But please keep reading, because it is October, spooky season, and I have a few shorts tales all for you, my readers.
Ciao
Jacob